Okay, so both my own experiences and other people's links have led me to ask myself this question lately. So, there it is, what's with bedtime? Seriously, why do we expect kids to live by the clock? Most attentive parents want their children to be able to pay attention to their body's cues. If they are hungry we want them to eat, even if it's a snack rather than a meal. If they're full we want them to stop eating, we don't want them to lose that ability and end up overeating for life. If they're cold we want them to get a jacket or a blanket. If they're hot we want them to take off extra layers and get a cold drink. If they're tired we should want them to sleep, even if it's not yet naptime. But what about if they're not tired when we think they should be? What then? We force them to sleep. But why?
What would happen if you removed bedtime from a child, if you didn't force them to sleep when they're not tired? If you didn't shut them in a room and say "go to bed, it's bedtime!"
I can tell you what would happen because I've done this, with both my boys now. My 7 year old no longer has a bedtime. IF he's allowed to watch unlimited television he'll stay up way past the point he gets tired and be a cranky butt. However, if he's not allowed the TV and other electronic gadgets after a certain time at night, he'll put himself to sleep when he gets tired. He does wonderfully, he's not a horrible child to deal with after wards, and there's no "bed time fight" with me that can take hours and unnecessary energy.
So, okay, you say, this works with older kids that can understand it, but my toddlers just too small to do this. Nope, no they're not. My 12 month old does great with this too. We start getting ready for bed when he starts showing me he wants to. This is typically around 8pm, though sometimes as early as 7, and sometimes much later. Last night I made the mistake of trying to put him to bed when he wasn't tired. Guess what, I had an hour long fight on my hands before I gave up. I brought him out of the bedroom and let him keep playing, I tossed my hands up and forgot about the fact that he "should be sleeping" forget it, he's not tired, he's awake. I decided to forget about what "should be" and live with what was. He played, and played, and played. About 10:30P.M. he started showing signs of being tired. So we went to bed, he got up on time this morning, at 7am. Was a bit extra fussy, but once we walked the dog and got back home he was fine, he went and played. Then, he took his morning nap, and now he's up again, "right on time" with when he normally does things. He's 12 months old, I theoretically should have "messed up his schedule" with that move. Nope, I let his body re-regulate how he wanted and needed to and all's good.
So, next time you're in a fight with your child over bedtime ask yourself why? If you have a child that literally cannot settle down without a firm hand (by which I mean you calmly sit with your child and keep them in bed or calmly keep returning them to bed, and yes I know they exist) then keep it up, more power to you. If, however, you have a child that typically goes to sleep without issue, and just doesn't want to tonight, then maybe you should change your approach. Maybe your child just isn't tired yet, and they want to exercise a bit more control over their own most vital habits. Consider it, weigh your options, then make the choice that works best for your family, but don't make them go to bed just because "kids should have a bedtime". Or because "well, it's time for bed".
Monday, August 30, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Update on Tim's allergies, diagnosis FPIES.
So, we saw an allergist for Tim earlier this month. All the scratch tests came back negative, but after conversing with the allergist we were given a diagnosis of FPIES. The link provided gives a very good explanation but to simplify things dramatically it's a digestive allergy.
We are not to try to introduce any reactive foods until at least 15 months of age. If for whatever reason I were to decide to wean (not happening) we would need to give him hypoallergenic formula, to the tune of around $200/month. His reactions to any trigger foods could be severe and even life threatening due to complications such as dehydration. I feel happily justified in not having just accepted that my child had reflux, drugging him up, and moving on with my life. Best case scenario had I done so Tim would have been failure to thrive due to his constantly irritated digestive tract being unable to absorb nutrients. Worst case, we would have ended up hospitalized with dozens or even hundreds of tests before an answer could be found.
Just another case of mama knows best. I urge moms everywhere to trust your instincts first and foremost, especially when it comes to something that can't hurt your child to do. Me avoiding foods that I believed were triggers for him had no potential of hurting my child, it put me out certainly, it still does but it had no chance of hurting him. I got lots and lots of well meaning advice to just "take the meds and be done with it". But I refused, if there was a way for me to help my child avoid meds and avoid pain I saw no reason not to take that path.
Sometimes as parents in order to do the best thing for our child we need to trust our instincts, and often take the difficult path. Sometimes the "easy" route isn't as easy as it seems. A "quick fix" now may cause a buildup of issues and problems later on. All things to keep in mind.
We are not to try to introduce any reactive foods until at least 15 months of age. If for whatever reason I were to decide to wean (not happening) we would need to give him hypoallergenic formula, to the tune of around $200/month. His reactions to any trigger foods could be severe and even life threatening due to complications such as dehydration. I feel happily justified in not having just accepted that my child had reflux, drugging him up, and moving on with my life. Best case scenario had I done so Tim would have been failure to thrive due to his constantly irritated digestive tract being unable to absorb nutrients. Worst case, we would have ended up hospitalized with dozens or even hundreds of tests before an answer could be found.
Just another case of mama knows best. I urge moms everywhere to trust your instincts first and foremost, especially when it comes to something that can't hurt your child to do. Me avoiding foods that I believed were triggers for him had no potential of hurting my child, it put me out certainly, it still does but it had no chance of hurting him. I got lots and lots of well meaning advice to just "take the meds and be done with it". But I refused, if there was a way for me to help my child avoid meds and avoid pain I saw no reason not to take that path.
Sometimes as parents in order to do the best thing for our child we need to trust our instincts, and often take the difficult path. Sometimes the "easy" route isn't as easy as it seems. A "quick fix" now may cause a buildup of issues and problems later on. All things to keep in mind.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
A new approach to "discipline".
I have recently read Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. It is one of the best books I have ever read and completely opened my eyes to discipline problems that I didn't even think were problems. I am looking at my parenting history (all 7 years of it) with completely new eyes now and seeing that every time something didn't work my solution was usually to just try harder. That really makes little sense.
Unconditional Parenting explains in great detail why the "standard" approach to discipline doesn't work the best. Why there are better ways to raise our children and speak to them. And why rewards and punishments are actually counterproductive especially when it comes to creating people with self esteem.
When we give our children rewards and punishments we never allow them to feel proud of themselves or disappointed in themselves, because we do it for them. They require us to tell them whether they've done well or badly. This creates an individual who's self esteem and self worth are reliant upon the values and judgments of those around them rather than their own values and judgments. This effects some kids more than others.
When we instead let our children decide for themselves whether or not they've done something to be proud of or disappointed in they learn to have self esteem that's reliant upon their own values rather than outside judgments. It should be our job to help our children define their own values, rather than tell them whether their actions or opinions are "good" or "bad".
When a child is driving a toy car across the floor and rams it into someone's foot and is told "that wasn't nice" or something similar (yes I'm guilty of this too) all they learn is that specifically ramming that toy car into that person's foot wasn't nice. If you instead discuss with said child how the person who got their foot rammed felt, and if the child thinks they enjoyed it a whole new realm of learning and understanding is opened. A realm that allows the child to take the knowledge learned from the experience into completely different circumstances "if it hurts to ram a car into a foot, and it hurts to push someone, maybe I shouldn't do either". This usually requires more initial effort than simply saying "don't do that" or "that wasn't nice" but over time it ends up creating children who can make those judgments for themselves.
At the moment it's a work in progress but I repeatedly see how it is a better long term solution than the easier "that's good" "that's bad" judgments.
Unconditional Parenting explains in great detail why the "standard" approach to discipline doesn't work the best. Why there are better ways to raise our children and speak to them. And why rewards and punishments are actually counterproductive especially when it comes to creating people with self esteem.
When we give our children rewards and punishments we never allow them to feel proud of themselves or disappointed in themselves, because we do it for them. They require us to tell them whether they've done well or badly. This creates an individual who's self esteem and self worth are reliant upon the values and judgments of those around them rather than their own values and judgments. This effects some kids more than others.
When we instead let our children decide for themselves whether or not they've done something to be proud of or disappointed in they learn to have self esteem that's reliant upon their own values rather than outside judgments. It should be our job to help our children define their own values, rather than tell them whether their actions or opinions are "good" or "bad".
When a child is driving a toy car across the floor and rams it into someone's foot and is told "that wasn't nice" or something similar (yes I'm guilty of this too) all they learn is that specifically ramming that toy car into that person's foot wasn't nice. If you instead discuss with said child how the person who got their foot rammed felt, and if the child thinks they enjoyed it a whole new realm of learning and understanding is opened. A realm that allows the child to take the knowledge learned from the experience into completely different circumstances "if it hurts to ram a car into a foot, and it hurts to push someone, maybe I shouldn't do either". This usually requires more initial effort than simply saying "don't do that" or "that wasn't nice" but over time it ends up creating children who can make those judgments for themselves.
At the moment it's a work in progress but I repeatedly see how it is a better long term solution than the easier "that's good" "that's bad" judgments.
Friday, June 25, 2010
A One Sided Discussion on why we chose not to Vaccinate Tim.
I'm a believer in treat what is there, not what is not. Do we schedule C-sections in advance because we think there may be a complication? No! Should we pump our kids with toxins to prevent a disease that they may or may not contract, and if they should contract may or may not have a serious response to? I don't personally think so. In my opinion the risk of serious complications from vaccines, especially when you consider most kids get 30+ vaccinations today, far exceed the risk of serious complications from diseases. I've pulled up the actual statistics on them before. The number of children who have serious reactions to the Chicken Pox Vaccine for example (this is just the only one I can remember) are far greater than the number of children who have serious reactions to Chicken Pox as a disease. As a portion of the population, in statistical figures, a child has a less than 1% chance of having a serious reaction to chicken pox. If you have a family history of severe reaction to an illness by all means vaccinate your children against that illness. If, on the other hand, you have every reason to believe your child could fight off an illness why vaccinate for it?
This next portion was written for a forum in response to a question of whether I think there can be such a thing as a safe non-harmful vaccine.
Honestly, I'm not sure if I believe there can be. Bring Newton's law if you must "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." Before vaccines many diseases were basically a rite of passage during childhood, everyone got them. Then because a subset of the population died from complications we started immunizing. It can be argued 'till everyone is blue in the face whether the vaccines decreased incidence or the increase in cleanliness/standard of living did. But for the sake of this discussion let's say the vaccines decreased childhood incidence of these diseases. Suddenly when these vaccinated kids reached adulthood adults started getting these diseases, and they were worse than if they'd had them as kids ... hence booster shots. But if you get the disease immunity is lifelong, the vaccine, not so much.
So then also, we start vaccinating against more and more things, combined with an over-use of antibacterial products and a decrease in breastfeeding little immune systems don't have any way to develop normally. Your immune system is like your brain, it needs practice to know what to do when encountering an illness of any kind, vaccines don't really provide that. It's like teaching a child to bake cookies from a cookie mix, then handing them all the ingredients to make them from scratch and expecting them to know what to do. It doesn't really work that way.
Then, vaccines (other than the flu vaccine) use static viruses, but viruses mutate. In a healthy, historic population those minor mutations would be encountered along the course of a lifetime and not affect a lifetime immunity, the constant exposure to sick community members provided natural boosts and a learning experience for the immune system with the mutated virus, no personal illness required. But with the population vaccinated this constant exposure to minor mutations does not happen and eventually the minor mutations stack up to be a major change and the vaccines start to "fail" the new virus is so different everyone comes down with it, young and old alike.
AND without diseases to fight, viruses and bacteria to kill, etc, the immune system eventually loses track of what it's supposed to do. This is a combined fault of vaccines, overuse of antibiotics, and overuse of antibacterial products. When this happens there are many possibilities. The immune system can become too weak to fight even the simplest disease. The immune system can go into overdrive at the slightest provocation since it never learned how much is needed for what and attack the body (as in Lupus). The immune system can simply fail to kill malformed cells, which then multiply rapidly and may develop into cancer.
These are all my thoughts developed through my personal research findings. It is my personal opinion that with diseases, as with so many other things, we need to stop running from nature and learn to work with it. Fevers are scary ... but we've recently learned that shutting down a body's appropriate fever response (not dangerously high, appropriate) often does more harm than food. Diseases are scary too, but should we be trying to prevent them totally or learning to help our body handle them efficiently as we now try to do with fevers?
For what it's worth I also feel that if you choose to not vaccinate your child simply because the diseases are no longer around, Hence you are relying on herd immunity and expect your child to never get a "vaccine preventable disease" you are making the wrong choice. If you choose to not vaccinate you should make that choice knowing full well that your child may contract any of the diseases vaccinations cover. And you should be ready to face that possibility head on.
This next portion was written for a forum in response to a question of whether I think there can be such a thing as a safe non-harmful vaccine.
Honestly, I'm not sure if I believe there can be. Bring Newton's law if you must "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." Before vaccines many diseases were basically a rite of passage during childhood, everyone got them. Then because a subset of the population died from complications we started immunizing. It can be argued 'till everyone is blue in the face whether the vaccines decreased incidence or the increase in cleanliness/standard of living did. But for the sake of this discussion let's say the vaccines decreased childhood incidence of these diseases. Suddenly when these vaccinated kids reached adulthood adults started getting these diseases, and they were worse than if they'd had them as kids ... hence booster shots. But if you get the disease immunity is lifelong, the vaccine, not so much.
So then also, we start vaccinating against more and more things, combined with an over-use of antibacterial products and a decrease in breastfeeding little immune systems don't have any way to develop normally. Your immune system is like your brain, it needs practice to know what to do when encountering an illness of any kind, vaccines don't really provide that. It's like teaching a child to bake cookies from a cookie mix, then handing them all the ingredients to make them from scratch and expecting them to know what to do. It doesn't really work that way.
Then, vaccines (other than the flu vaccine) use static viruses, but viruses mutate. In a healthy, historic population those minor mutations would be encountered along the course of a lifetime and not affect a lifetime immunity, the constant exposure to sick community members provided natural boosts and a learning experience for the immune system with the mutated virus, no personal illness required. But with the population vaccinated this constant exposure to minor mutations does not happen and eventually the minor mutations stack up to be a major change and the vaccines start to "fail" the new virus is so different everyone comes down with it, young and old alike.
AND without diseases to fight, viruses and bacteria to kill, etc, the immune system eventually loses track of what it's supposed to do. This is a combined fault of vaccines, overuse of antibiotics, and overuse of antibacterial products. When this happens there are many possibilities. The immune system can become too weak to fight even the simplest disease. The immune system can go into overdrive at the slightest provocation since it never learned how much is needed for what and attack the body (as in Lupus). The immune system can simply fail to kill malformed cells, which then multiply rapidly and may develop into cancer.
These are all my thoughts developed through my personal research findings. It is my personal opinion that with diseases, as with so many other things, we need to stop running from nature and learn to work with it. Fevers are scary ... but we've recently learned that shutting down a body's appropriate fever response (not dangerously high, appropriate) often does more harm than food. Diseases are scary too, but should we be trying to prevent them totally or learning to help our body handle them efficiently as we now try to do with fevers?
For what it's worth I also feel that if you choose to not vaccinate your child simply because the diseases are no longer around, Hence you are relying on herd immunity and expect your child to never get a "vaccine preventable disease" you are making the wrong choice. If you choose to not vaccinate you should make that choice knowing full well that your child may contract any of the diseases vaccinations cover. And you should be ready to face that possibility head on.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Here's to no more school!
Today I dropped my little D off at his dad's house for 2 weeks. Since these periods are always hard for me I decided I was going to make a happy blog post instead of dwelling on it. :)
So, as of yesterday at 12:00 Noon my little D will no longer be going to public school. From here on out unless and until we all decide otherwise, he's going to be home schooled. It will be a lot of work, and most likely a lot of fun. I think home schooling will be perfect for my little guy. Just the other day we were at the ER with his brother (mouth wound that took a bit too long to stop bleeding for mama's comfort, nothing big) and he switched the TV off of Cartoon Network and on to the Science Channel. He was watching these shows about black holes and Hawking Radiation and all this stuff that hurts my head with avid fascination. Not only does he want to learn about this stuff but he already really comprehends a great deal of it ... at not quite 7 years old.
His teacher this past year at school actually told me she could not challenge him in math, and it seems, in science either. We've got our work cut out for us but I really think that my little guy will excel if given the chance, so here we go, into all new realms of fun!
So, as of yesterday at 12:00 Noon my little D will no longer be going to public school. From here on out unless and until we all decide otherwise, he's going to be home schooled. It will be a lot of work, and most likely a lot of fun. I think home schooling will be perfect for my little guy. Just the other day we were at the ER with his brother (mouth wound that took a bit too long to stop bleeding for mama's comfort, nothing big) and he switched the TV off of Cartoon Network and on to the Science Channel. He was watching these shows about black holes and Hawking Radiation and all this stuff that hurts my head with avid fascination. Not only does he want to learn about this stuff but he already really comprehends a great deal of it ... at not quite 7 years old.
His teacher this past year at school actually told me she could not challenge him in math, and it seems, in science either. We've got our work cut out for us but I really think that my little guy will excel if given the chance, so here we go, into all new realms of fun!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
A Letter to Grandparents
Grandma/Grandpa please keep in mind that while I am a child and should be allowed to have fun I still must have limits, just as my mother/father had limits at your house.
Please realize that when you tell me "don't tell mom/dad" what you're really saying is "lie for me". Please keep in mind that if you say "mom/dad doesn't have to know" or "what mom/dad doesn't know won't hurt her/him" what you're really saying is again, please lie for me. You are also putting me in a very difficult situation, you are making me the bad guy. Either I lie to my parents which I know is bad, or I disappoint you and get you in trouble. This is not fair to me, I'm just a kid!
If my parents say that I'm allergic to X please believe them and do not feed me ANYTHING containing X. If you are not certain then simply do not feed it to me. Even if I don't have an anaphylactic reaction if I am allergic to something it makes me sick when I eat it. I don't like to feel sick, I may like the snack/treat you gave me but I don't know it has X in it, that's your job to keep track of. I'm just a kid!
If my parents tell you that when I have sugar/red dye/etc it makes me have issues, please believe them. I don't like to be unable to pay attention and be constantly yelled at. You feeding me something that tastes good for 5 minutes isn't worth the next 5 hours of being in trouble!
Please remember that my parents rules are the rules, even if you think they're silly. If my parents say that I am not allowed to have Jello/Koolaid/Ice Cream and you give it to me you are teaching me to break the rules, is that the type of role model you want to be to me?
Lastly, please remember that while cookies, ice cream, cake, presents, etc are awesome what I really want from you is hugs and kisses. Time and attention are worth so much more to me than anything else you can give me, please don't rely on the gifts that my parents may or may not approve of to make me love you. It's not necessary, I already love you!
Lots of love,
Your Grandchild
Please realize that when you tell me "don't tell mom/dad" what you're really saying is "lie for me". Please keep in mind that if you say "mom/dad doesn't have to know" or "what mom/dad doesn't know won't hurt her/him" what you're really saying is again, please lie for me. You are also putting me in a very difficult situation, you are making me the bad guy. Either I lie to my parents which I know is bad, or I disappoint you and get you in trouble. This is not fair to me, I'm just a kid!
If my parents say that I'm allergic to X please believe them and do not feed me ANYTHING containing X. If you are not certain then simply do not feed it to me. Even if I don't have an anaphylactic reaction if I am allergic to something it makes me sick when I eat it. I don't like to feel sick, I may like the snack/treat you gave me but I don't know it has X in it, that's your job to keep track of. I'm just a kid!
If my parents tell you that when I have sugar/red dye/etc it makes me have issues, please believe them. I don't like to be unable to pay attention and be constantly yelled at. You feeding me something that tastes good for 5 minutes isn't worth the next 5 hours of being in trouble!
Please remember that my parents rules are the rules, even if you think they're silly. If my parents say that I am not allowed to have Jello/Koolaid/Ice Cream and you give it to me you are teaching me to break the rules, is that the type of role model you want to be to me?
Lastly, please remember that while cookies, ice cream, cake, presents, etc are awesome what I really want from you is hugs and kisses. Time and attention are worth so much more to me than anything else you can give me, please don't rely on the gifts that my parents may or may not approve of to make me love you. It's not necessary, I already love you!
Lots of love,
Your Grandchild
Friday, January 8, 2010
Overdue update.
Among other things, Tim has teeth. He got 2 teeth for Christmas after weeks of pain from them trying to come in. As a family we're doing well. Darrion's enjoying his little brother and our little family is coming closer together as Darrion is also accepting Sean as his step-dad now. It's no longer awkward to him when he calls Sean "dad" because he's "daddy" to Tim and it just makes sense. But there's no pressure either, we allow him to call Sean whichever he wants.
Tim's taking after his brother and wanting to stand/walk and wanting nothing to do with his tummy. I hope I can get him to at least attempt crawling but if I lie him down on his tummy he just rolls over within minutes, it's kind of funny. Tim got an activity table with a walker style seat attached to it that he can walk in circles around the table but not go anywhere else with. It's really nice as it gives him a change of scenery, me free arms without having his weight on my chest, etc. I still wear him in the wrap a lot but my chest spasms are coming back and it's not so great to be wearing 15lbs on your chest when the cartilage starts to seize up and you have a near asthma attack.
He's also trying to talk already and doing really well with EC. More later, mommy life calls.
Tim's taking after his brother and wanting to stand/walk and wanting nothing to do with his tummy. I hope I can get him to at least attempt crawling but if I lie him down on his tummy he just rolls over within minutes, it's kind of funny. Tim got an activity table with a walker style seat attached to it that he can walk in circles around the table but not go anywhere else with. It's really nice as it gives him a change of scenery, me free arms without having his weight on my chest, etc. I still wear him in the wrap a lot but my chest spasms are coming back and it's not so great to be wearing 15lbs on your chest when the cartilage starts to seize up and you have a near asthma attack.
He's also trying to talk already and doing really well with EC. More later, mommy life calls.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Baby/Life Balance ...
Is there such a thing?
I don't really recall it being this difficult with my first, though I'm not sure the reason for that. Maybe it's that I know I'll have to go back to work in less than 3 weeks now but with all the feedings and everything that needs doing I feel overwhelmed. Tim's still eating nearly every hour some days, most days it seems and it makes it very difficult to get things done. I feel like the second I put him in the wrap to go about doing something he'll wake up screaming and I'll have to stop mid-activity to feed him.
Then there's dealing with home-work for Darrion, more on that later likely either from Sean or myself, but that takes up at least an hour every evening. So after picking Darrion up from school about 4:00pm between walking his dog, dinner, homework, feeding the baby, and trying to get a bit of evening cleaning done my entire evening is GONE. This wouldn't be nearly such a big deal except for the fact that I'm looking at going back to work in 3 weeks, and that will be ALL the time I have at home, it's very overwhelming to consider.
I really wish there were a way I could stay home, or work from home, but between the fact that I make slightly more money and the fact that I carry the insurance there is no feasible way that I've discovered to be able to do so. It also doesn't help that with Tim's food sensitivities it's even MORE difficult to purchase foods for reasonable prices. You'd be very surprised how few things do not have either milk or soy in them. The only good thing financially is it's nearly impossible for me to just go out to eat anymore. When I sit down and consider how hard it will be to find something I can eat and not upset the baby it actually becomes EASIER to just cook. THAT is funny to me.
Anyway on to the good stuff. Tim's started smiling more than just in his sleep, he grins while playing with Daddy now. He can lift his head and turn it from side to side while on his tummy, he holds his head up fine otherwise so I've been able to wear him facing outwards in the wrap as long as he's awake. And he's really getting/got the hang of going potty in his little potty chair. He typically only has 'skid marks' in his diaper unless I've gone too long between giving him a potty break. I don't potty him at night so he usually has a soaking poopy diaper first thing in the morning unless I get him to the toilet quick enough to catch the poo. But during the day so long as he's pottied before every feeding he tends to put most of his poop in the toilet. It makes it really nice as far as washing diapers, I have yet to have a fully dry/clean diaper but that doesn't matter, it's nice to know he's not sitting in his own crap. I figure when he gets older and better able to sit on the potty himself we'll worry a bit more about catching the pees.
As for size last week at his 1 month appointment he was 10lbs and 21 inches. He's growing nicely and has the cutest little chub rolls. The Dr did prescribe Zantac for his reflux, which we are giving him but I'm not sure if it's really helping any more than cutting the milk/soy did on its own. I'll be watching it for a while longer and if it doesn't seem to be doing anything I'll probably stop giving it to him. Anyhow, it's time to head out to get 'big brother' from school.
I don't really recall it being this difficult with my first, though I'm not sure the reason for that. Maybe it's that I know I'll have to go back to work in less than 3 weeks now but with all the feedings and everything that needs doing I feel overwhelmed. Tim's still eating nearly every hour some days, most days it seems and it makes it very difficult to get things done. I feel like the second I put him in the wrap to go about doing something he'll wake up screaming and I'll have to stop mid-activity to feed him.
Then there's dealing with home-work for Darrion, more on that later likely either from Sean or myself, but that takes up at least an hour every evening. So after picking Darrion up from school about 4:00pm between walking his dog, dinner, homework, feeding the baby, and trying to get a bit of evening cleaning done my entire evening is GONE. This wouldn't be nearly such a big deal except for the fact that I'm looking at going back to work in 3 weeks, and that will be ALL the time I have at home, it's very overwhelming to consider.
I really wish there were a way I could stay home, or work from home, but between the fact that I make slightly more money and the fact that I carry the insurance there is no feasible way that I've discovered to be able to do so. It also doesn't help that with Tim's food sensitivities it's even MORE difficult to purchase foods for reasonable prices. You'd be very surprised how few things do not have either milk or soy in them. The only good thing financially is it's nearly impossible for me to just go out to eat anymore. When I sit down and consider how hard it will be to find something I can eat and not upset the baby it actually becomes EASIER to just cook. THAT is funny to me.
Anyway on to the good stuff. Tim's started smiling more than just in his sleep, he grins while playing with Daddy now. He can lift his head and turn it from side to side while on his tummy, he holds his head up fine otherwise so I've been able to wear him facing outwards in the wrap as long as he's awake. And he's really getting/got the hang of going potty in his little potty chair. He typically only has 'skid marks' in his diaper unless I've gone too long between giving him a potty break. I don't potty him at night so he usually has a soaking poopy diaper first thing in the morning unless I get him to the toilet quick enough to catch the poo. But during the day so long as he's pottied before every feeding he tends to put most of his poop in the toilet. It makes it really nice as far as washing diapers, I have yet to have a fully dry/clean diaper but that doesn't matter, it's nice to know he's not sitting in his own crap. I figure when he gets older and better able to sit on the potty himself we'll worry a bit more about catching the pees.
As for size last week at his 1 month appointment he was 10lbs and 21 inches. He's growing nicely and has the cutest little chub rolls. The Dr did prescribe Zantac for his reflux, which we are giving him but I'm not sure if it's really helping any more than cutting the milk/soy did on its own. I'll be watching it for a while longer and if it doesn't seem to be doing anything I'll probably stop giving it to him. Anyhow, it's time to head out to get 'big brother' from school.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Reflux/Gas Lactose Intolerence and ranting.
So Tim's had bad reflux and gas since the day we brought him home. That first night we realized I'd had a LOT of milk products the day before and remembering that Darrion had been Lactose Intolerant as a baby I cut milk products out of my diet (and replaced them with soy). His gas and reflux have continued but until the last two nights had not held a candle to that first night.
The last two nights have been horrendous, with Tim screaming basically from 9pm to midnight and me passing out with him on my chest. I've been giving him Chamomile Tea watered down when the gas/reflux get bad and it certainly helps. I can almost always hear him fart or burp within minutes of the Chamomile but the last 2 nights it hasn't touched the reflux. I'm working on identifying other factors in my diet that upset him. So far it seems that tomato products are a huge issue, Broccoli and Cauliflower (my favorite veggies) cause gas, citrus juices aggravate reflux, and I'm afraid the soy is an intolerance issue as well. I've experimented with the Soy a bit today to see if I can see a correlation, dry cereal isn't the best but whatever helps my munchkin. If it seems to be the soy we'll be moving to Rice milk and I'll be taking a separate calcium supplement since I'm losing my 2 main sources of calcium (I can't drink soy or rice milk plain). Another possibility may be chocolate, which would also drive me crazy to have to avoid, but so far today I haven't had any and the gas/reflux have been minimal. I'll have to pin it down between the chocolate and the soy.
[Begin Rant] I'm really somewhat annoyed that I keep being told "It's just normal" or "His digestive tract isn't developed yet" or crap like that ... I KNOW his digestive tract isn't developed yet. That's why he's drinking milk stupid. And NO it's NOT normal to have a baby screaming in pain and exhibiting obvious signs of fear when a reflux episode is oncoming. It's not normal at all, no matter how much women try to tell me "it'll go away in a month or 3" forget that, I'm NOT putting my baby through months of this, or even weeks. But even worse, in my mind, are the women that just go "Get your Dr to put him on Zantac" or Prilosec, or give him Mylanta or any of that crap. He's a freaking BABY!!! I won't take that crap myself let alone drug up my 2 week old child. URGH!!! Why can't people understand that there's a natural solution to things if we just take the time and effort to find it. Yes it'd be EASIER for me to go to a Dr, get him a prescription, and drug him up every day, but it's HEALTHIER for me to identify the issues in my own diet, avoid them, and not cause the problem to begin with. Do I want to go a year or more avoiding these foods? Heck no ... I love most of the foods I'm cutting out. But my son is more than worth it. [End Rant]
The last two nights have been horrendous, with Tim screaming basically from 9pm to midnight and me passing out with him on my chest. I've been giving him Chamomile Tea watered down when the gas/reflux get bad and it certainly helps. I can almost always hear him fart or burp within minutes of the Chamomile but the last 2 nights it hasn't touched the reflux. I'm working on identifying other factors in my diet that upset him. So far it seems that tomato products are a huge issue, Broccoli and Cauliflower (my favorite veggies) cause gas, citrus juices aggravate reflux, and I'm afraid the soy is an intolerance issue as well. I've experimented with the Soy a bit today to see if I can see a correlation, dry cereal isn't the best but whatever helps my munchkin. If it seems to be the soy we'll be moving to Rice milk and I'll be taking a separate calcium supplement since I'm losing my 2 main sources of calcium (I can't drink soy or rice milk plain). Another possibility may be chocolate, which would also drive me crazy to have to avoid, but so far today I haven't had any and the gas/reflux have been minimal. I'll have to pin it down between the chocolate and the soy.
[Begin Rant] I'm really somewhat annoyed that I keep being told "It's just normal" or "His digestive tract isn't developed yet" or crap like that ... I KNOW his digestive tract isn't developed yet. That's why he's drinking milk stupid. And NO it's NOT normal to have a baby screaming in pain and exhibiting obvious signs of fear when a reflux episode is oncoming. It's not normal at all, no matter how much women try to tell me "it'll go away in a month or 3" forget that, I'm NOT putting my baby through months of this, or even weeks. But even worse, in my mind, are the women that just go "Get your Dr to put him on Zantac" or Prilosec, or give him Mylanta or any of that crap. He's a freaking BABY!!! I won't take that crap myself let alone drug up my 2 week old child. URGH!!! Why can't people understand that there's a natural solution to things if we just take the time and effort to find it. Yes it'd be EASIER for me to go to a Dr, get him a prescription, and drug him up every day, but it's HEALTHIER for me to identify the issues in my own diet, avoid them, and not cause the problem to begin with. Do I want to go a year or more avoiding these foods? Heck no ... I love most of the foods I'm cutting out. But my son is more than worth it. [End Rant]
Post Birth Blog Update/Progression
So, since it's obviously post birth I wanted to announce the winners of the polls. Despite the fact that only myself and one other person voted we do have winners. ;)
Emily voted correctly on Tim having thin dark hair, who knew. :) I personally guessed best on his arrival as he came exactly 6 days before his due date, so within the week but not on his due date.
I'd pull together a chat room but it seems not many people have been following the blog so I really don't know how much use a chat room would be.
At this point I think I'm going to keep the blog open and convert it to a general family blog. For anyone who decides they don't like my family ideals/progression feel free to stop following. For anyone who decides to follow the blog, great. :)
Emily voted correctly on Tim having thin dark hair, who knew. :) I personally guessed best on his arrival as he came exactly 6 days before his due date, so within the week but not on his due date.
I'd pull together a chat room but it seems not many people have been following the blog so I really don't know how much use a chat room would be.
At this point I think I'm going to keep the blog open and convert it to a general family blog. For anyone who decides they don't like my family ideals/progression feel free to stop following. For anyone who decides to follow the blog, great. :)
Friday, September 4, 2009
Pictures!
Please click on any of the photos below for a full view. For whatever reason Blogger is cutting off my pics and I cannot get it to post a full pic. :( I've tried posting via numerous methods.
Birth Story (Late Post)
So to start at the very beginning ...
I first had 'false' labor on August 1st, my contractions were regular and about medium intensity. They got to where they were 3 minutes apart regularly and lasted for hours. I went into the birth center and stayed for a few hours with no progress before eventually being sent home. The entire time due to my back labor they were trying to make me get into positions to 'turn the baby' despite my telling them I'd had no issues with my first back labor and it didn't really bother me. After being sent home and dealing with contractions half the night they eventually stalled out and I went back to work and life the next morning. The following Saturday August 8th I started into contractions again, roughly 30 minutes apart. They came this way for at least a few hours a day every day after that, often times closer together but I was getting them daily at the least.
Finally on Thursday August 20th around 8pm I started into contractions 30 minutes apart, I made sure to focus on getting enough food due to my hypoglycemia and they got closer together as time progressed. I was able to sleep between contractions that night as they were still 30 to 60 minutes apart. I monitored them the next day and they just kept getting closer together and stronger, finally at around 5pm on Friday August 21st I called my Dr and headed into the birth center with strong contractions 8 minutes apart. I'd made some progress since my OB appointment on Thursday morning so they had me stay.
I labored at the birth center all night, once again with the nurses trying to get me to do everything in my power to 'turn the baby' even though every time I followed their advice my cervix got more difficult to find and things just seemed to be harder. My contractions rapidly got closer together and hovered around 3 minutes apart, I wasn't really able to sleep through them or even between them and was still making no progress. Finally Saturday morning we asked my OB to come in and break my water to get things moving. She did so and while the contractions picked up in intensity they were still doing very little for me. Eventually my OB manually dilated me to a 6, which hurt like MAD. After that I was in serious transition contractions and after 40+ hours in noticeable labor was just having trouble dealing with it.
Eventually I broke down and asked for some Pain Meds to take the edge off because I just couldn't deal with the contractions. I'd made some progress but I'm not sure how much by that time as they didn't really tell me. They inserted an IV and gave me Stadol which took the edge off of the pain but didn't take it away. My OB came back in, I think she knew I was losing my energy/drive by that point because she manually dilated me to a 10 so that I could start pushing, even though I objected and cried/fought her. The next period of time (what I'm told was 2 hours or so) is just a blur in my mind. I kept passing out due to exhaustion and the Stadol and had no clue what was happening half the time. I'd come to with the OB and my nurse trying to coach me through pushing, I was holding my legs up and pushing but had no clue. Finally I forced myself through the haze enough to push and managed to push my little guy out, apparently he came out at an angle, he wasn't facing front or back by that time but was crooked. I have to wonder if that wasn't due to all the nurses trying to make me make him turn when he didn't want to. And I think that my difficulty progressing was due to that.
After Tim was out they had me delivering the placenta. The OB was pulling gently on the cord while I pushed it out, apparently most of it came out but a lobe stayed inside. My OB ended up actually having to reach fully inside of me and pull out the remaining parts of the placenta. I was crying, screaming, and physically fighting her despite my aware mind trying not to fight her. It just hurt so bad that I wasn't thinking straight, I swear I probably gave the poor woman bruises. Due to the trauma of them having to manually remove the separated placental lobe my uterus didn't contract down properly and they ended up having to give me an emergency IV of Pitocin so it ended up being a good thing I had the IV in from the Stadol.
So after it all despite the issues it turned out fairly well considering. And I've decided if I have back labor again I tell the nurses and even Drs to shove it and let me have back labor. I like it that way thank you very much! ;)
I first had 'false' labor on August 1st, my contractions were regular and about medium intensity. They got to where they were 3 minutes apart regularly and lasted for hours. I went into the birth center and stayed for a few hours with no progress before eventually being sent home. The entire time due to my back labor they were trying to make me get into positions to 'turn the baby' despite my telling them I'd had no issues with my first back labor and it didn't really bother me. After being sent home and dealing with contractions half the night they eventually stalled out and I went back to work and life the next morning. The following Saturday August 8th I started into contractions again, roughly 30 minutes apart. They came this way for at least a few hours a day every day after that, often times closer together but I was getting them daily at the least.
Finally on Thursday August 20th around 8pm I started into contractions 30 minutes apart, I made sure to focus on getting enough food due to my hypoglycemia and they got closer together as time progressed. I was able to sleep between contractions that night as they were still 30 to 60 minutes apart. I monitored them the next day and they just kept getting closer together and stronger, finally at around 5pm on Friday August 21st I called my Dr and headed into the birth center with strong contractions 8 minutes apart. I'd made some progress since my OB appointment on Thursday morning so they had me stay.
I labored at the birth center all night, once again with the nurses trying to get me to do everything in my power to 'turn the baby' even though every time I followed their advice my cervix got more difficult to find and things just seemed to be harder. My contractions rapidly got closer together and hovered around 3 minutes apart, I wasn't really able to sleep through them or even between them and was still making no progress. Finally Saturday morning we asked my OB to come in and break my water to get things moving. She did so and while the contractions picked up in intensity they were still doing very little for me. Eventually my OB manually dilated me to a 6, which hurt like MAD. After that I was in serious transition contractions and after 40+ hours in noticeable labor was just having trouble dealing with it.
Eventually I broke down and asked for some Pain Meds to take the edge off because I just couldn't deal with the contractions. I'd made some progress but I'm not sure how much by that time as they didn't really tell me. They inserted an IV and gave me Stadol which took the edge off of the pain but didn't take it away. My OB came back in, I think she knew I was losing my energy/drive by that point because she manually dilated me to a 10 so that I could start pushing, even though I objected and cried/fought her. The next period of time (what I'm told was 2 hours or so) is just a blur in my mind. I kept passing out due to exhaustion and the Stadol and had no clue what was happening half the time. I'd come to with the OB and my nurse trying to coach me through pushing, I was holding my legs up and pushing but had no clue. Finally I forced myself through the haze enough to push and managed to push my little guy out, apparently he came out at an angle, he wasn't facing front or back by that time but was crooked. I have to wonder if that wasn't due to all the nurses trying to make me make him turn when he didn't want to. And I think that my difficulty progressing was due to that.
After Tim was out they had me delivering the placenta. The OB was pulling gently on the cord while I pushed it out, apparently most of it came out but a lobe stayed inside. My OB ended up actually having to reach fully inside of me and pull out the remaining parts of the placenta. I was crying, screaming, and physically fighting her despite my aware mind trying not to fight her. It just hurt so bad that I wasn't thinking straight, I swear I probably gave the poor woman bruises. Due to the trauma of them having to manually remove the separated placental lobe my uterus didn't contract down properly and they ended up having to give me an emergency IV of Pitocin so it ended up being a good thing I had the IV in from the Stadol.
So after it all despite the issues it turned out fairly well considering. And I've decided if I have back labor again I tell the nurses and even Drs to shove it and let me have back labor. I like it that way thank you very much! ;)
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Further Updates
Well, I'm just about 38 weeks. Sean's prediction is that Tim will come 2 weeks early so if he's right we'll have a baby tomorrow. lol
Either way at my appointment this morning I was 2 centimeters dilated, which is a progression of roughly 1/2 cm in a week. I have been getting sporadic contractions since last Saturday, it's wonderful (sarcasm). Luckily Tuesday was my last day of work and I'm now on Maternity leave until late October. It's nice to not have to worry about contracting and/or going into labor at work. Now I can actually nest rather than being too worn out to think by the time I get home.
Anyway, I'll keep the blog updated a little better now I hope. Just in case anyone's watching it.
Either way at my appointment this morning I was 2 centimeters dilated, which is a progression of roughly 1/2 cm in a week. I have been getting sporadic contractions since last Saturday, it's wonderful (sarcasm). Luckily Tuesday was my last day of work and I'm now on Maternity leave until late October. It's nice to not have to worry about contracting and/or going into labor at work. Now I can actually nest rather than being too worn out to think by the time I get home.
Anyway, I'll keep the blog updated a little better now I hope. Just in case anyone's watching it.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Some progression, needs to wait though.
Well, I'm 34 weeks pregnant, Tim is average sized except he apparently has short legs according to the last ultrasound. Anyway, at my last appointment my Dr said I am "soft" and dilated to a 1 already. I'm not overly concerned but I need to make it to at least 36 weeks or I can't give birth in the birth center at all. So now I'm on self-imposed modified bed rest and Sean is refusing to let me do basically anything in the house. Just wanted to share and keep people updated a tad if anyone's watching the blog.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Purchasing for Tim
I'm not even sure how many people have visited this site or if anyone follows it. I just wanted to mention the fact that since we're coming closer to the due date, and I've hit the serious nesting phase, that we've started purchasing for Tim. So far all we've purchased is the co-sleeper, because I really want to be able to get at least the layout of the bedroom set up.
Please, feel free to continue purchasing from our registry if you like. I will remove anything we receive or that we purchase ourselves. Thank you all,
-Amber
Please, feel free to continue purchasing from our registry if you like. I will remove anything we receive or that we purchase ourselves. Thank you all,
-Amber
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Hair Poll
There is a poll on the left side of the screen for whether or not Tim will be born with Hair and what color. Please vote for your opinion and reply to this post with what your vote was so I can keep track of the votes. This will allow me to determine the winners.
In case any of you like to use old wives tales to determine hair presence or thickness ... I have had heartburn with Tim but it has been only occasional and much less than I had with Darrion.
Also to note, for those of you who think that blonde is crazy, my family has a history of all babies being born blonde. Darrion was born blonde as well.
In case any of you like to use old wives tales to determine hair presence or thickness ... I have had heartburn with Tim but it has been only occasional and much less than I had with Darrion.
Also to note, for those of you who think that blonde is crazy, my family has a history of all babies being born blonde. Darrion was born blonde as well.
Due Date Poll
There is a Poll on the left side of the screen for whether or not little Tim will be coming on his due date. Please reply to this post after voting to specify what your vote was. This will allow me to keep track of who wins each contest. Possible prizes for winning will be determined at a later date. Thank you for playing.
Shower Games - Polls
I will add a post for each Poll, after you vote please comment on the corresponding post and state which answer you selected. This is the only way for me to keep track so we can see who 'won' the poll contests. I don't know yet what rewards may be provided for winning.
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